The Speed of Sound
by keroberus
Summary: Here's an angsty version of what became of young love with time and distance. Shizuku sings a soulful song she hopes will reach Seiji and tell him how she really feels. Can they go back and retrieve what's lost, or is it gone forever?
1. Memories in a Box

AT THE SPEED OF SOUND

NOTES: So here we are again…. I just saw Whisper of the Heart (_Mimi o Summaseba_) and I can't get over it. I haven't even finished my story for Ame-chan. Gomene, Amelia.

I do not own any rights to Aoi-san's original manga, or Studio Ghibli's production on the silverscreen. This is the cutest manga ever and if you can, you should read it.

The story is forming in my head, and has been doing so all day, faster than I can remember it! So, to get it down before it slips away and the fancy leaves me, I need to do this…. Oh, and a special thanks to NitohRyu for being my Amasawa Seiji-kun and my muse for this story. Albeit, inadvertently….

I apologize in advance if this reads like a shoujo manga…it was fully intentional. --Kero. (5/20/06)

p.s. SPECIAL THANKS TO SAKURA SISTA FOR CREATING A SPACE FOR THESE STORIES! (6/17/06)

* * *

Chapter 1: Memories in a Box

"_Shizuku! Ohayou! Shizuku! Ohayou! Shizuku! Oha_—" **CLICK. **Her hand lazily slipped from the 'snooze' button on her alarm clock and back over the side of her queen sized bed. As she pushed herself over onto her back, a giant yawn escaped her mouth. With her light cotton pajama sleeve, she wiped off the remnants of drool that had stuck to the side of her face. Shizuku's eyes fluttered open. The room was brightened by the morning sun's rays penetrating through the white linen drapes of her Tokyo apartment. Shizuku had to squint to adjust from the almost blinding light of the day world, just as she was forgetting the stories that had woven together in her dreams in the night world. Stretching until she heard that familiar cracking noise in her neck and back, she then looked around her room.

"That's right," she said to no one in particular. "It's Saturday. I have to meet Kuroda-san downtown today." She glanced over to her writing desk, piled high with loose papers all over her laptop, old half drunk cups of coffee, newspaper clippings and thick hard covered books. There, in the center of all that chaos was her latest completed fictional manuscript, lying quietly in a manila envelope, waiting to be delivered to her ever eager publishing agent, Kuroda Mamoru at Kodansha Publications. He would have a fit if she didn't meet him on time in the lobby of the Lotus Hotel by noon. The prior weekend, Kuroda-san had warned her not to be late because afterwards, he had scheduled a meeting with the publication higher-ups to discuss their fall season releases into bookstores.

"Idiot," she sighed. "He's just asking for it, since I'm never on time." Shizuku rolled herself out of bed and onto her hardwood floor of her apartment, landing on all fours like a cat. She wasn't used to the fancy contemporary set-up of the apartment yet, and she still slightly missed the tatami mats back home in her old room in her parents' flat. How long ago had it been since she went back? Sure, she'd call and check up on them on a bi-weekly basis, but she hadn't visited her old town in a while. It had been two years since she graduated from university, majoring in poetry and classical literature. Since then, she had done some free lance writing for her local newspaper until Kodansha wanted her to write for them exclusively, having read her first finished novel. She edited, revised and finally published a year before her graduation, "_Whisper of the Heart_."

Shizuku pulled the toothbrush out of the holder on the wall and spread a colorful swirl of toothpaste onto the bristles. As she brushed her teeth and absently stared into the mirror in front of her in her nicely tiled bathroom of sea green and blue, she glanced through the looking glass at the box lying on the floor behind her. The package came a few days ago in the mail from an old friend. In it was something that she always wanted but could never have enough money to buy. It was so carefully packaged that Shizuku slowly unwrapped it for nearly half an hour. A few months earlier, Grandpa Nishi had finally called it quits on the antique shop and went to live with his family. He only took a few things with him, selling off or giving the rest of the antiques away; and to Shizuku he bestowed The Baron.

She hadn't the courage to take it out of the box yet, though she was very excited to receive the package and undo the layers upon layers of bubble wrap. After that, she hesitated because somehow, she felt as though taking out the ceramic cat doll would undo all the enchantment of her apartment, and her world, and Shizuku would see her life now as nothing but a shadow of what she really wanted. Baron Humbert von Gikkenden always had that effect. He always had a way of making her feel more and want more than what she had now. For two years now, Shizuku had convinced herself that her life now was the best for her. She was not about to let The Baron break that spell.

Shizuku spit out the toothpaste, gargled with her cobalt blue plastic tumbler and reached for a clean white towel, hanging to her right. She deliberately looked away from the box. To quell the silence, Shizuku hummed to herself a tuneless song. Without her knowing it, the song began to take shape into something with form and substance.

From nowhere, out of the depths of time and dusty memory, a familiar song stained her lips.

"_Country road  
I want to stay as I was yesterday  
But I can't go back  
I won't return  
Fare thee well, country road."_

When she realized what she was singing she suddenly stopped. It was true. She deliberately avoided going back home because it brought back uncomfortable memories. He was not there and Shizuku could not return. She had to go forward now, without those memories.

She hurried and changed into her clothes, a summer skirt with a fragile pattern, and a white sweater over a peach tank top. Slipping on her sandals, and grabbing her white hat from the coat rack, she hastily closed the door to her apartment, those unwanted memories, and The Baron.

"Shizuku-san!" said Kuroda-san jovially as he beamed at her in the hotel lobby, looked down at his Rolex wristwatch, and continued to beam at her. Shizuku looked up at the giant glass clock hanging on the wall of the main lobby of Lotus Hotel and realized that she was exactly on time. In her rush to be away from her apartment, she had actually sprinted to the subway and made her first punctual entrance in a long time. She absently handed Kuroda her manuscript and sighed. This would be the last story for a while, being the last of a short fictional series about magic and mythical lands that had given her some degree of fame among young adult readers. Kodansha had even given her series a website and it continued to fill with fan mail and message blogs, carefully screened by Kodansha junior-staff for creeps and obssessors, ever since the second book was released a few years back. It was somewhat of a sleeper hit for Kodansha, as they expectations for the releases that year were set primarily on their more seasoned authors. Hence, Kuroda-san's enthusiasm as his eyes gleamed over the hastily read pages of her new and final manuscript for this series.

"It's excellent, Shizuku-san! It really is. You've outdone yourself. It seems you've taken this dark period you've been in for the last two years and transformed it into a soulful manuscript." He carefully moved his coffee cup away from the precious object in his hand. Shizuku continued to sip her latte and blankly stared out the window. She couldn't seem to get past her reflection, however, to really look at the world outside.

"It's a bit trite and tied up too neatly at the end, don't you think? It's like I had to force a happy ending. I don't think I wrote down what I was truly feeling, the purity I wanted to put down on paper. Really, the last two weeks, I was tempted to just kill off the heroine in one dramatic swoop…" she said divertingly.

"That's so mean, Shizuku-san! Your heroine is one of my favorites, and I'm sure your fans would agree when they read the final version that they are glad you didn't kill her," smiled Kuroda. He looked up at her thoughtfully.

"Why don't I take you out to dinner this evening? You seem a little out of sorts. Did you not sleep well? Did your cat keep you up?"

"No. And I don't have a cat," said Shizuku. "You're thinking about that other writer. The tall, quiet, good looking one." She sighed. For a moment the image of the Baron crossed her mind. She shook him out of her thoughts but instead, the image transformed into a large, round white cat as big as the moon. She would have liked to have a cat like him, no matter how grumpy.

"Ah, sorry! That's right, she keeps a cat. My bad," he smiled bashfully. "You keep a…goldfish?" he asked tentatively.

"Dead," responded Shizuku.

"Ah, well…It's not like you to look so glum, Shizuku-san. Is there something I can do?" he asked gently.

"It's okay, Kuroda-san. It's just a little funk I've fallen into. It's starting up more often now, and lasts a bit longer each time. Maybe I just need to clean up my apartment…get rid of a few things…" she answered softly.

"Writers are always thoughtful people, Shizuku-san. But don't let your thoughts carry you away to unwanted places. Focus on your today, and you should be fine." Shizuku smiled at his handsome face. His eyes were bright but it was too bad that his chain smoking yellowed his teeth. Of course, he would smoke more than usual when it came close to deadlines, so it was partially her fault. Shizuku was one of five writers Kuroda-san was personally in charge of. Still, it seemed like he paid most attention to her work and was a self-proclaimed fan. Still unmarried, many of the staff at the publishing company thought him rather the eligible bachelor, but for Shizuku, he was just a friend.

But was there something in his expression that was different than usual? Shizuku was never good at realizing anyone's affections for her. However, judging by the way he looked at her now, she could take a good guess that he was enamored of her--even if he really was enamored with her fictional characters, and this affection transposed itself onto her person. Still, he was certainly someone she could make herself fall in love with. Shizuku laughed in spite of herself.

"What's so funny?" asked Kuroda-san, rather puzzled. But before she could invent an answer, her cell phone rang.

"Oh, excuse me," she apologized as she pulled her silver Motorola RZR with a little lucky cat charm dangling on the side from her purse. "Hello. This is Shizuku."

"_Shizuku, this is Yoko. Are you free? I'm in Shinjuku district right now at Studio B_. _Do you want to come over? My lyricist bailed on me and I really need some help with this theme song I'm developing for a new show. Wanna try your hand?_" her childhood friend asked.

"I've given up writing song lyrics since _Concrete Roads_, Yuko. I write stories, not songs," she replied.

"_Please, Shizuku. Thanks a bundle; I'm counting on you!"_ Her friend hung up on her before Shizuku could get in another word edgewise.

"Damnit, Yuko," grumbled Shizuku.

"Problem?" asked Kuroda-san.

"Yeah. I have to be somewhere else, right now." Shizuku got up to leave but Kuroda-san caught her hand in his.

"Shizuku…" he said shyly, "I would really like it if you would join me for dinner sometime."

She smiled back at him. _I could do a whole lot worse than him…_she thought to herself. "Okay." She could hardly believe she accepted. _This could be the start of something…. _Deep down, her heart was whispering for her not to, but Shizuku intentionally ignored it.


	2. The Soul's Refrain

NOTES: I do not own any rights to Aoi-san's original manga, or Studio Ghibli's production of the manga on to the silverscreen. This is the cutest manga ever. If you can buy the book, buy it! It's worth reading more than once.

I decided to stick to the theme in the Ghibli film, and made Seiji a violin maker as opposed to an artist. That's the Amasawa Seiji I liked first, I guess. Alas! I'm too old for him…. -.-;

--Kero.

* * *

Chapter 2: The Soul's Refrain

"Shizuku!" exclaimed Yoko with a sigh of relief. "You're here! Thank goodness." Her childhood friend had grown into quite the beauty; and having carefully avoided the sun's harmful rays with a hat for ten years had very little freckles to speak of. Yoko was wearing a chic outfit that was a casual business suit and skirt with matching heeled shoes and her long shiny hair was neatly bound up with a smart looking clip. It was the look in the music industry, especially in the fashionable Shinjuku District.

"How could I not come? You always make it sound like life and death; I can never tell," grumbled Shizuku. Her friend laughed merrily in response.

Having graduated from the same university as Shizuku, majoring in music theory and piano, Yoko had done well for herself. Out of school, she voiced a few anime characters as a seiyuu through some music connections, she gained popularity among anime and gaming fans as she was quite good looking. She tried her hand at songwriting and was an immediate small-time hit. Soon after, Victor Entertainment recognized her talent as a song writer, and now Yuko wrote lyrics for Japanese drama series and shows. Her current project was a very long drawn out soap opera that needed a new theme song every season. It was already operating into it's fourth season. Not difficult to believe that they were short on talent and fresh ideas as most of the original and extremely popular cast had dropped out and started other projects.

"Kusanagi-san, this is the friend I was talking about. She and I were in the chorus club in junior high together and we're from the same town. Shizuku, this is the general manager of Studio B, Kusanagi Ota-san," introduced Yuko.

"Oh, Tsukushima Shizuku? You're quite a popular writer nowadays. My son reads your books avidly. It's a pleasure making your acquaintance, Tsukushima-san," said the manager. Shizuku tried not to laugh at his '70's disco attire and bowed politely, instead.

"Pleased to make you acquaintance. I hope I can help you, Kusanagi-san," responded Shizuku. "What is this project you so desperately need assistance on?" she asked, genuinely curious.

"Well, it's a song that Yuko has penned rather last minute for us. The producers absolutely hated the first one and fired that songwriter immediately. Then, the lyricist left in a huff as well. _Apparently, they were lovers_," whispered Kusanagi-san as an aside, with a sour look on his face. Shizuku nodded at that juicy bit of gossip and let him continue.

"But Yuko has now penned a beautiful melody and we have no lyrics for it."

"Please tell me the story. I don't know much about music theory, but if you can give me a story, I can try put it to words for you," suggested Shizuku.

"She's very good at this," chimed in Yuko excitedly.

"I'm rusty," sighed Shizuku, giving a grimace to her friend. "I wish you wouldn't build me up to others like that, Yuko. They may be disappointed."

But Kusanagi-san continued to talk, apprently heedless that a conversation was going on behind him. "….So the main plotline is like this: two childhood sweethearts made a promise to one another, but they grew apart and eventually lived very different lives. One is about to get married, and the other is rather a playboy. They meet again under fateful circumstances, but both are resisting the possibility of the old relationship coming into bloom again. This song is a song of LONGING!" said Kusanagi-san in a weird, dramatic pose.

Shizuku shot a glance at Yuko, _Is this guy for real?_ Yuko only smiled apologetically.

"Oh, I get it. A song of longing…" said Shizuku in brief summary.

"No! It's a song of LONGING! LONG-ING! It comes from the gut! Say it with me!" said Kusanagi-san, taking her hands in his and squeezing them excitedly.

"Long…ing…" said Shizuku, puzzled as to why he pronouced the word with such emphasis but repeating the accents corretly as he had done.

"Yes! Exactly!" he said, heading off in the direction of the elevator and compulsively pushing the button for the door to open. She scratched her head in puzzled amusement.

"This story should strike a chord with you, Shizuku. Whatever did happen between you and Seiji-kun?" asked her friend delicately, still smiling her cheerful grin. Shizuku took a thoughtful pause as they waited a little ways behind Kusanagi-san for the elevator.

"We just grew apart, I guess," said Shizuku simply.

"That's unlike you to understate the obvious," frowned Yuko. "Didn't he ask you to marry him at one point?"

"That was in junior high, Yuko! People continue to grow up after junior high. Unlike you and Sugimura-kun, Seiji and I grew apart. He was in Cremona intensely concentrating on his violin making craft for seven years before I got to spend any real time with him. He had to go back to finish it anyway. He had stopped writing me for months at a time… He had mentioned that he met a musician named Genevieve there….I don't know what came over me, but because that woman was able to spend more time with him than me, I got upset over something really stupid….And…I met Asuma-kun during our last year at university…."

"Didn't you explain to Seiji that Asuma was just a friend?" asked Yuko.

"It's not as easy as that, Yuko," she sighed.

"So you did have feelings for Asuma-kun?" asked Yuko quietly.

"I'm not sure. To this day, I'm not sure if it was just the pressure of graduating, or getting out my first novel…or just loneliness that the distance had caused to well up inside of me. I wanted nothing but Seiji but Asuma was always there to console me. Seiji misunderstood it when he came back and then grew really distant before he left, and I don't think we've spoken since. And I still hate myself for having wasted that time I did spend with him. But I don't think I ever forgave him for thinking of me as being unfaithful and vice versa."

"Goodness, Shizuku, now THAT'S a drama. Don't you think it's time you crossed the distance and made up with him?" sighed Yuko with exasperation. "Isn't he coming back…ever?"

"I don't know. I don't know what he's up to anymore," said Shizuku quietly. She felt the tremble in her voice and hated herself for it.

"But, you still care about him, don't you?" said Yuko, putting a hand on her friend's shoulder.

"I've been forcing myself not to care these two years, Yuko," said Shizuku. She hadn't realized how miserable she had been until those words were uttered from her lips.

"OKAY LADIES!" said Kusanagi-san. "Into the elevator, chop-chop. We've gotta get this song out and give it a try by today. I'm counting on you to work your magic, Tsukushima-san!"

"I'll do my best," said Shizuku with a slight bow. The small creative team went to the lounge next to the recording room and sat down on the comfy sofas for hours. As Kusanagi-san continued his diatribe about the emotions and feelings behind the drama with or without anyone listening to him, Yuko played a few bars of her song at a time on the keyboard especially brought into the room. Shizuku liked it immediately and started writing her ideas on her note pad. After a few hours, the notepad was almost empty and scattered and torn pieces of it were strewn all over the floor. Junior staff members continued to bring them coffee and refreshments and sandwiches from the nearby deli. By sunset, Kusanagi-san was exhausted and asleep on the couch in a fetal position, Shizuku was barefoot and pacing the carpeted floor, and Yuko's hair was quite undone from her hairclip as she played out the last bars of the song.

"I think we finally have it," whispered Shizuku, handing the final draft carefully to Yuko. She felt as if she were handing the Holy Grail over to her care. Shizuku had put her all into the lyrics, and they were not so much a synopsis of the storyline Kusanagi-san had so painstakingly relayed to her throughout the day, but a reflection of the darkness that had veiled her heart these past two years. Yuko's rather intentional mentioning of Seiji had awakened the old feelings again. But Shizuku was glad that her friend had drawn it out of her. Something had stirred and she needed to get it all out. These lyrics were the perfect medium to do it. Shizuku stole a glance at Yuko's expression. To her surprise, her friend looked as though she was going to cry. Immediately, Yuko grabbed Shizuku and pulled her close.

"Oh, Shizuku! I had no idea! How long you must have suffered like this! With no outlet for it until now…that's just like you Shizuku. I love it! I love this refrain. It's like your soul's refrain, echoing out into the darkness!"

"Yuko, you're strangling me…" said Shizuku, trying to wrestle out of her friend's clutches.

"Oh, sorry!" she said, letting go. "But these lyrics are really very good Shizuku. You're speaking from the heart. It's important that Seiji-kun hears this. I think…you should sing the demo," said Yuko with a single decided nod.

"Hey, wait a minute!" gasped Shizuku, trying to take the lyrics back. "Don't go making crazy decisions on your own, now! I can't sing it!"

"This is your heart's words; it should be sung in your voice," frowned Yuko.

"Do I look like a J-pop star to you?" said Shizuku, clenching her fists and gritting her teeth at her friend.

"That's a great idea, Yuko!" said Kusanagi-san out of nowhere. Before she knew it, he had snatched the lyrics out of her hand, dancing wildly around the coffee table. But Shizuku was too tired to argue with them. Right before she left, she was penciled into the schedule to meet them at the studio tomorrow morning to do the demo that would be sent to the producers.


	3. At the Speed of Sound

NOTES: You know, I've always wondered about the personal dramas of song writers and lyricists who produce the most wonderfully wistful songs….I don't own any of the rights to anything in this chapter.

_Mouichido Kimi Ni Aitai_ was penned and sung by Mikuni Shimokawa; and is the ED song for _Full Metal Panic! The Second Raid_, and is one of my favorite songs ever! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO USE IT IN A FANFIC! Even before I wrote the first paragraph of this fic, I knew this song had to be a part of it. Much of the story was written to get to this chapter… If you get the chance, don't forget to buy the song; the soundtrack is not bad.

In the memorable words of Coldplay: "Birds go flying at the speed of sound, to show you how it all began…" –Kero.

* * *

Chapter 3: At the Speed of Sound

"Here we go, Shizuku!" said Yuko, excitedly. Her friend was nearly bouncing out of her piano seat and giving Shizuku the victory sign. Beyond the piano were seated a few of the executive producers of the show, behind a tinted soundproof glass. To Shizuku's chagrin, they were in the main recording room of Studio B for a showy demonstration of their soap opera's newest opening title song. She was so unprepared for it she was dressed only in casual clothes while men in business suits loomed on the other side of the glass. Yuko had intentionally kept her out of the dark as to not make her nervous. Though, Shizuku wasn't nervous, but she thought Yuko owed her big time.

"From the top ladies. And don't worry, it's just a demo. Your natural voice will do, Tsukishima-san," said Kusanagi-san in the microphone on the other side of the recording room glass. "It's quite charming."

As Yuko played her intro, a solo violinist accompanied her to compliment the melody, and a twinge of nostalgia wrapped around Shizuku's heart. She couldn't remember the last time she had heard a solo violin like this…it reminded her only of Seiji. The way his fingers played along the strings; the way his eyes closed and a serene expression came across his face as he played… For a moment, she wondered if she was going to sing or cry. Then, she heard her queue from the music direction booth through her ear phones.

"_Kitto kimi wa kyou no hi mo _- Surely you are looking forward  
_massugu ashita wo miteru _- To seeing tomorrow  
_kaze ga fuku ano oka ni saita _- Like a blossoming sunflower on a hill  
_himawari no you ni _- Blown about by the wind"

In her mind's space, she thought of the last time she had seen Seiji. It was at the airport as she was seeing him off nearly two years ago for one final time. Her heart had urged her of the finality of the situation and recalling the moment wrenched at her still. As she sang the lyrics, she realized that her surfacing grief had been her constant companion all this time.

Shizuku remembered the light had faded from his eyes when he looked at her, and she knew that if she did nothing, if she could not convince him with words, then he would never return. But that day, she couldn't find the words at all to correct their mutual misunderstanding and she was too proud and stubborn to apologize at the time. If only she had found the strength to say anything…But instead, she watched him go in silence with a look on his face she could never forget; it was equally as miserable as how she felt inside.

She had carried that feeling with her all this time, but now, finally, she was letting it all go. She just wanted to see him again. Shizuku wanted him to know how she felt, and since she could not say it that fateful day she was singing it now to him…into space, hoping her thoughts would connect with Seiji somehow.

"_Donna ni tooku hanarete ite mo _- No matter how far apart we are  
_kono uta koe ga kimi ni todoku you ni _- I hope this song's voice finds you  
_namida ga zutto tomaranai yoru _– On this night when my tears are endless  
_kimi no mado wo terasu tsuki ni naritai _- I am the moonlight on your terrace window

_mata kanarazu aeru to _- Surely, you and I  
_sou omou kara... - _Will meet again someday..."

She was motioned to continue the rest of the song, and Shizuku felt her eyes welling up when the solo violinist came in again before the bridge. Shizuku wanted to run away from that sound, and yet she had been longing for it all this time. The melody tugged at her, making her feel elated and melancholy all at once. Though this was only a demo tape, she hoped somehow the song would travel at the speed of sound, carried on the wings of a bird that flew all the way to Cremona, Italy. But that was impossible. Only the executives in the room would hear Shizuku's version of it.

Or so she thought.

To her horror and equal amusement the executives had liked it so much they intended to use Shizuku's version in their ad campaign for the new season of the show. Yuko was absolutely no help whatsoever and continued to encourage the idea. The sound editors would smooth out her voice with digital layering, but it was essentially Shizuku's voice that was going to be broadcast nationwide via TV and radio. There wasn't enough time or money to hire others to do it, and since they felt her voice was "pure," they made the decision to use it…after Shizuku signed on the dotted line to give them permission to do so, of course.

"_Your thoughts will reach him at the speed of sound, Shizuku_. _He will know your feelings_," her heart was whispering to her. Yuko, in her excitement, told her that Shizuku would be a smash hit, nearly overnight. As a gift, Shizuku got a copy of the demo, thought she really didn't know what to do with it. She didn't so much as need it since her song would be everywhere in the next 48 – 72 hours. It was a pretty popular show, after all. The advertising kings were going to milk it for all its worth. Suddenly, Shizuku wanted to crawl back into bed under her covers and hide.

Yuko was exactly right and most of what she said would happen did happen. The song was an immediate hit, and was requested on almost every radio station by lovelorn, star-crossed couples and singles all over Japan. News of Shizuku's newfound fame in song writing and singing even found its way back to her hometown and her family members were calling and leaving messages on her answering machine almost every night. The song's popularity would ensure that she and Yuko had a steady flow of income from the royalties for a few years at least. Despite Yuko's protests, Shizuku did have to turn down a contract with Victor Records to do more work for them. She was a writer, after all, not a singer. She left the option open to do more song lyrics for them in the future.

But none of this mattered to Shizuku. There were only two people in the entire world that she wanted to hear her song, and one of them was far away on the other side of the world, and almost certainly cut off from Japanese pop culture. At least, she would get this song to one of them.

Back home, on a late summer's day, Grandpa Nishi did receive a package from Tokyo a few months later. But, being of the old fashioned sort, handed the disc over to his visitor to be put into the stereo, something Grandpa really didn't use often as he preferred his old phonograph. The old gentleman only sat back in his chair waiting for the mysteries of the CD to unravel for his ears.

"Seiji, bring me my reading glasses while you're at it. My eyes aren't what they used to be and the lighting in this house isn't nearly as good as in the antique shop," said Grandpa Nishi.

"Yes, Grandfather," said the tall, handsome looking young man, resigned but content to attend his aging grandfather. Before, it wasn't often that he got to come home, but finally, he was ready to come back. Having finally finished his apprenticeship, he was hoping to open a shop of his own. His agile fingers held onto the reading glasses as he switched on the stereo and inserted the CD.

"So what is it?" he asked curiously, leaning against the dining room table of his father's richly furnished house. The disc had not been labeled and the case was empty. The CD played and at first there was background noise of people talking, and microphones being adjusted and checked.

"AH!" exclaimed his grandfather. "It's from Shizuku in Tokyo!" With excited hands he opened the letter that had come with the package. He read it aloud.

"_Dear Grandpa Nishi,_

_Forgive me for not responding sooner than this. When I received your package I was at a loss as to what to say. Here in the busy whirl of a life that is Tokyo, I had almost forgotten the sound of my own soul. The Baron has helped me recall it. I cannot thank you enough for giving me such a precious gift—something I didn't think I could have, no matter how much money I could offer to pay for it. _

_At first, I confess I was afraid to take him out of the box. The Baron has a way of undoing things; and just with his presence, his magic has boldly revealed the façade of a life I was leading here. I stand completely undone. There were so many memories that I had hoped to keep in that box with The Baron. But I realized I could not deny them forever._

_As a return gift, I have enclosed a CD with a song whose lyrics are my own creation, and yes, that is me singing it. It was supposed to be a demo version of a theme song for a popular drama series, but now it's being broadcast all over Japan with my voice. I give you this CD, my very first mentor and critic, in gratitude. The song is dedicated to Seiji, wherever he may be right now. I wish that these thoughts could reach him at the speed of sound, yet Cremona is too far away for something as small as this. But even if I never see him again, I am content, having finally received the message my heart was whispering to me all this time and released it with both hands open._

_Best wishes for your continued good health. With much affection, Shizuku_."

The song began to play and Shizuku's voice filled the room, accompanied by a gentle piano and the soft, soulful sound of a solo violin. The tune and lyrics wrapped a soulful, wistful embrace around their hearts and memories. Shizuku had put her heart into the song, writing out all of her unreleased emotions; and to hear her voice sing her purest intentions was almost heart wrenching. When it ended, both Grandpa Nishi and Seiji were speechless. The CD continued to play background noises.

"_Ah, it's so great, Shizuku! It's such a pity you never joined me in the music industry_," said a female's voice. Other voices in the background murmured in agreement with some scattered applause.

"_Bravissimi, Tsukushima-san!" _said a male voice. There was a brief pause, and then he said to the others in a low voice,_ "Hey, can someone hand her a tissue or something? I think she's crying…."_ And that's where the CD stopped.

Grandpa Nishi glanced over woefully to his grandson, trying to think of many ways of admonishing him for leaving Shizuku alone for so long, but no words came to his lips. He noticed that Seiji's hands were clenched up in fists at his side and though he could not see the look on his face, Seiji was most likely already berating himself for any fault on his part. Perhaps his grandson had also suffered greatly in the time he spent away from the girl he loved in his heart of hearts.

In truth, his grandson had heard this song often ever since he returned to Japan. It was being broadcast in the multimedia; on the radio, on speakers in mini-marts, and snippets appearing on TV commercials every now and then. Something about the voice had sounded familiar but he had no idea that it was Shizuku singing to him all this time. It had been so long since he heard it, that he didn't even recognize her voice. This was the first time he had actually heard the song in its entirety and carefully listened to its message. It was entirely heartbreaking for him, and that last day at the airport played in his mind over and over again. Wanting to be alone, Seiji left the room without uttering another word.

* * *

NOTES: AH! How will it end? Can they rekindle what was lost? Oh love, where is thy strength? Will they part ways forever, or will they see each other again? Stay tuned for the stunning conclusion! –Kero (doing a dramatic pose and victory sign). 


	4. Mangetsu

AH! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING MY WORK! (Bows politely). I didn't think anyone would read this, because it would be too difficult to find! But thanks for taking the time to read and give me your generous applause. I really like this story too! The movie was so great, I watched it 5x in a row! Four times in Japanese and once in English (Overdoing it, a bit, I admit...). But I felt that this was the best end to the story, for better or worse.

TA-DAA! I present...THE END! I can't believe I vomited all these words in a single weekend. Please r/r.

Until next time! --Kero (5/21/06).

* * *

Chapter 4: _Mangetsu_ – Full Moon

Shizuku clutched the letter in her hand as she rode the train out of Tokyo. A few days ago she had received a letter from her hometown, from Grandpa Nishi. The letter confessed that he was not in the best of health and that he wished to see her immediately. It was so brief as to cause her concern that this might be the last time she would see him. Naturally, it caused her to drop everything lined up for her in Tokyo, even while in the middle of that first date with Kuroda-san, and rush home on a bullet train.

She traveled light, with only one bag for her work and duffel for clothing. Shizuku didn't plan on staying too long for fear of being too depressed at having arrived on her familiar territory full of unwanted, bittersweet memories. But the memories came rushing into her mind regardless as if the floodgates had opened, and it was towards home that she wanted to turn to for comfort and a remedy. As the hum of the bullet train calmed her, she looked up at the full moon and its perfect circle of light forming a sort of halo around it. Shizuku would come full circle at the end of the train tracks. Somehow, she felt the moon had already begun to cast its spell over her life, just as The Baron had. Her heart told her that everything would soon come to a conclusion, good or bad, and she was powerless to prevent it.

Shizuku took a taxi from the station and drove up the lonely road to the Amasawa residence. She had only been there a few times herself, back when she was still dating Seiji, but it never failed to impress her with its size and presence. It was an old, Japanese style home with extensive grounds. She was a bit relieved that Mr. Amasawa was not likely to be home as he was almost always away on business. She only wanted to see Seiji's grandfather at this point. At the end of her journey, all she really wanted was a quiet moment with her old friend, over a cup of hot tea. Maybe they'd talk about the Baron, or maybe her newfound singing career that she declined to endorse, or perhaps her upcoming book. Whatever they discussed, she hoped that they would not be talking about Seiji. Shizuku breathed in the night air and could almost taste the flavor of _genmai cha_ on her lips and feel the welcome glow of the hearth on her cheeks. She paused for a moment as the taxi drove away and her resolve trembled. For a moment, she could only think, _This is Seiji's house. I don't belong here_.

Then, a furry object rubbed up against one leg. She almost jumped out of her skin but was relieved when she saw Muta sidling up towards her with a wobble and a slight purr.

"Muta, you big fat cat! You scared me. Are you still alive, now?" she joked and picked up the cat and tucked him under one arm. Apparently, this cat aged very well and he looked exactly as he had when she last saw him. Strangely enough, Muta wasn't complaining of the treatment and hung quietly in the crook of her arm. _Maybe he missed me?_ she thought to herself. Her finger reached up decidedly and pushed the doorbell. Muta had become her excuse to go inside.

"Grandpa!" she exclaimed as door opened to reveal a familiar, wrinkled face. They exchanged an awkward embrace with Muta in between them. The maid closed the door behind them and Shizuku let Muta down.

"Go on you big round moon of a cat," she laughed. She turned to Grandpa Nishi again.

"Did I catch you at a bad time? My train just got in, actually. I really wanted to see you, though, I hope you don't mind," said Shizuku in one breath.

"Not at all, I had just finished making a quick phone call, and settled in to make you some tea when I heard the door bell," smiled the old man.

"A phone call? At this hour? Who on earth could you have been calling?" laughed Shizuku. She and Grandpa settled in front of the fireplace with a small fire in the hearth to keep their feet warm. The maid brought them tea and little cakes, and closed the sitting room door quietly behind her.

"Can't you guess?" he grinned after sipping his tea. Shizuku stopped. Something about the expression on his face told her that something was afoot.

"Grandpa, why are you grinning like that? It makes me think that you're plotting something against me…" she began. But before she could finish, the front door was again open, and she heard footsteps hastily shuffle across the entrance hall rug on the other side of the wall. The maid's voice greeted the guest, which followed by Seiji's worried voice asking if his grandfather was all right all in one breath. Shizuku immediately shot a scrutinizing glance at Grandpa Nishi.

"Grandpa, what did you do?" demanded Shizuku in a low voice.

"I simply arranged a meeting that should have taken place years ago," said Grandpa smugly. But his face became serious.

"Don't fall into complacency with your loneliness, Shizuku. That's not like you. While you have him in front of you take up your happiness again with both hands open." The expression on Grandpa Nishi's face was that of a Bhudda. She felt as though she had been relayed a universal truth and wisdom towards Enlightenment. But was she wise enough to take up that advice? Her hands began to shake, and she immediately put her rattling tea cup and saucer back on the table to prevent any damage.

_HE'S HERE!_ she thought to herself in utter shock. Shizuku shot up from her seat and started wringing her hands. It was too sudden. She couldn't think of one word to say. She could start with "Good evening," but those words sounded too trite and hollow. Her nerves were starting to fray and she felt her whole body starting to shake with anticipation. Shizuku forced herself to breathe slow and the trembling subsided a bit, but her stomach felt like it was shrinking uncontrollably. The first thought in her mind was to escape. Out of desperation she looked longingly at the open window to her right. She was still on the first floor, right? The footsteps were right outside the door, now, followed by a light knock. Grandpa Nishi put a hand on her shoulder, reassuring her, and went to towards the entrance just as it swung wide open.

"Ah, Seiji, what brings you here at this late hour?" chuckled Grandpa.

"What do you mean what brings me here? You did, old man! You nearly scared me senseless with that phone call. I thought I'd have to rush you to the hospital or something! What do you mean by calling me at this hour and then pretending that it didn't happen?" demanded Seiji. "You shouldn't deliberately worry people like that," said Seiji crossly.

But Grandpa raised a hand to silence him.

"Don't be so out of sorts, Seiji. I have a guest," Grandpa said gently. Seiji looked past his grandfather to see the graceful figure of a woman dressed in an autumn colored sweater and blazer, and a slender long skirt over tall boots. Her short hair shined red and auburn against the hearth. She didn't need to turn around for him to know who it was. Nothing but silence filled the room.

"Shizuku," said Seiji almost in a whisper. Immediately, he concluded that Grandpa had arranged all of this to take place in the few months after they had first heard her CD. In truth, Seiji had commandeered the CD entirely without intention to give it back to his grandfather, but for a while continued to be indecisive as to what his next move should be.

"I'm not getting any younger, you know, Seiji. I want to see this done," he sighed apologetically.

"Grandpa," said Shizuku, finally using her small voice to speak. "This is…a really awkward moment…I think, maybe I should go." She gathered her things and headed for the door, without once meeting Seiji's eyes. But just as she was about to cross the threshold into the hallway, a hand stayed her arm and urged her back inside. Shizuku thought her heart would burst with anticipation.

"Don't go," whispered Seiji. Grandpa took that as his queue and made a graceful exit, closing the door behind him.

More awkward silence followed.

"Tsukishima Shizuku," he said slowly as he took her bag and duffel from her and placed them to one side on the floor.

"Amasawa Seiji," she replied in turn. It was the most awkward greeting she had ever endured in her life. They both tried to speak simultaneously to break the silence, and then were embarrassed at having interrupted one another and fell quiet again. The air was permeating with many years worth of their unspoken feelings.

"So," said Shizuku finally. "You're finished with your apprenticeship, I suppose?" He nodded quietly in response.

"That's so great. I knew you would. So, you've come back to Japan…for a visit?" she asked tentatively.

"No. I'm coming home for good. I want to set up a shop here, in a location much like where Grandpa had his shop, if not the exact place," he responded.

"Oh. That would be nice, actually," she said, trying to find more words for what she really wanted to ask. "But there's nothing back in Cremona that you want to bring with you?" she asked.

"Nothing but my tools and what I've learned," he said simply.

"Genevieve—" she began, but Seiji cut her off.

"Never meant anything to me. She was just someone to talk to in order to pass the time. You know me better than that, Shizuku." He seemed rather offended at her insinuation, but it was really his pride that was wounded. But his words were spoken more like a plea than an angry retort. She had misunderstood him all this time.

"That guy from your university—" he began, but Shizuku cut him off.

"I never spoke to him again the day you and I parted at the airport," she responded. He looked at her and realized that her pride had been wounded as well.

The words were pushing forth now from Shizuku's mouth, and she could not stop them. "I only wanted one thing, and that was to be with Seiji. But when our lives started taking different directions, you felt so far away from me, and I gave that up."

"You gave up on me…?" asked Seiji quietly.

"Only because you became so unattainable. I thought that was because of Genevieve. You were so caught up in what you were doing in a world I didn't understand; I felt as though you were leaving me behind. So I fled as far away from here as I could but didn't get past Tokyo. I didn't want my surroundings to ever remind me of what I'd lost with you," said Shizuku, willfully looking away and fighting the tears rolling down her face. But it just wouldn't do. She had to bury her face in her hands and her body trembled from head to toe.

"But all I really wanted…" she sobbed. "All I really wanted was for Amasawa Seiji to find me again. I would never be happy until you did. So I wrote a song on a whim…and in it I relayed the message I was trying to convey to you across time and space. Somehow…I thought if it could just get to you…if you heard it, you'd come back…and I could see you again….and I could tell you all the things I wanted to tell you that day…all the things I want to say, but am having trouble saying even now." A new wave of emotions crashed over her, leaving her floating in a sea of misery. "I can't be honest with my feelings. I'm such a child," she wailed.

"If that's true, then…I'm a coward," he sighed as he gathered her up into his arms and held her tightly.

"I thought that you and your classmate… I was so afraid of your rejection that I never dared to confirm it. I had already confirmed it in my mind, but I couldn't confront you. I was hoping that if it didn't happen, then…there was still hope that it wasn't over between us." He pulled away from her and smiled genuinely.

"I never want it to be over between us," he said. "Forgive me." It was a statement that was half a plea and half a command. But that was entirely Seiji. Shizuku let out a little laugh and wiped her eyes. They had both been equally miserable fools this entire time, but the hurt and all the loneliness seemed quite insignificant now. He leaned down and kissed her fully on the lips. Shizuku couldn't stop laughing at their ridiculousness. She felt that it was almost the foundation for another story. Maybe she would try her hand at writing drama scripts next…

"Stop laughing," said Seiji, giving up on trying to continue their kiss and resolving to just hold her close. "It's making me feel worse."

She buried her face in his chest and held him tightly, inhaling that faintly sweet familiar mixed smell of paint, wood finish and saw dust. On this night, she had come full circle. And out there, in time and space, her song continued to travel endlessly.

_Finis_.


End file.
